Monday, April 30, 2012

Yay.

After the epic stress of today, I have left only one thing to say...



fffffffffffffRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(picture courtesy : http://supratiksarthak.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-top-ten-best-movie-scenes-of-all.html)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Burn Out Bright


This may sound out of the ordinary, but it is a blessing to actually have a picture of this for me to look at and reflect upon every once and a while. I haven't fully dealt with my immanent death. It is scary to think about, but this will be me in only a number of years (not saying I'm planning on dying any time soon)-- with different dates, of course. I'm not looking forward to dying. I love being human. But now that I know I am going to die, to ignore it would be sinful. All the more, then, as Jon Foreman sings, "Before I die, I want to burn out bright"

Friday, April 20, 2012

Love

If only I could realize the immensity, the soul-binding, the commitment.. that it entails when I say, "I love you."  I should perhaps never tell someone I love them again. Love is no play toy, entertainment, feeling, or past-time. It is a binding of the soul to a course of action: the harboring of another's soul within oneself.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

birth, truth, and bob dylan

Upon the moment of birth, all that a baby consists of comes from the mother. When the baby is born, there is confusion, change, uncomfortability, and fear. The baby must then learn to operate him or herself; it is no longer floating around in a world of ease and comfort-- the womb of the mother. The baby is still dependant upon the mother for milk and care, but eventually the baby must grow into a man or a woman who does not depend on his or her mother.

I think the process of becoming a mature adult is similar, except different. How can I help the fact that at the point that I begin to be born into the world of truth, everything my mind is made of comes from my culture and genetics? All of my assumptions about life, my practices, my preferences, my sense of reality, my gender, and my passions are constructed by my culture. It's not like this is a bad thing though. If I didn't have a culture to teach me things to believe and want, I would not ever be able to grow up-- I would never be able to form my own views at an age earlier than around 18-20, so society fills that gap and does it for me. I absorb my society's views. But it is profitable to remember that society is only a convenient womb that we must grow and nurture in until the time comes to be born and learn to grow on our own. I owe much to my mother for giving me existence, but I cannot depend on her. I owe much to my culture for raising me on its views, but I can no longer depend on it for my beliefs and practice.

To extend this even more, every moment we should experience birth. We should be born out of our state of complacency, enter into a new world of confusion and insecurity, make peace, and then be born again.

As Bob Dylan said, "...a man not busy being born is busy dying."

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Come alive

I'm thankful for the beautiful night sky, for challenging experiences, for logic, for truth, for friends and their encouragement in time of need, for friends who critique me and challenge me, for the college I go to, and for music that keeps my heart alive.

Several realizations I've had this week:

1. I should follow my convictions and never hold back in fear. Ever.

2. I should not follow false convictions (shame in disguise).

3. Realism is found in thankfulness.

4. Every time I wake up, I should consider it putting the lid over the coffin of my dead body. I am dead, that I might come alive in righteousness.